I'm not going to get medical or scientific here... I'd just like to share what binge eating disorder has looked like for me. When I get to it I will add some resources in the link above that explains more about the disorder from a medical standpoint.
So, binge eating disorder did not look like I thought it did. It wasn't the "after school special" material that I had envisioned: hiding in closets, eating large amounts of sugar until you are in a stupor. Although, I believe that might be the case for some people.
For me, it began with a longtime reliance on using food for comfort. Then it grew into me wanting more and more comfort until I couldn't control it. I kept wanting to feel numb and feel nothing at all. So I would just eat constantly...not really hiding it... no one was really watching me. Maybe Britt...but she doesn't really tune into that stuff very much. The key was that I couldn't stop. I wanted more. I would eat and eat and eat until I felt AWFUL. Then, I wanted to just curl up in a ball of guilt and numbness and sleep. And I went through that cycle several times a day.
When I was first referred to the Eating Disorder Clinic I was somewhat relieved because I knew I needed help...but I'm not sure I actually felt like I had the disorder. I have had this type of behavior on and off for several years and so I didn't think it was that extreme. After my initial appointment which was an all day affair they informed me that I was a slam dunk diagnosis for Binge Eating Disorder...actually there isn't a formal diagnosis of such a disorder yet...it's called Eating Disorder, Non Specific.
So, that's me. Since we've been back from California, my bingeing has decreased considerably and, in fact, I haven't binged in a couple of weeks! Huge! I have many behaviors that could trigger it very quickly so we are working very hard on keeping away from those behaviors! I am overeating...but not bingeing..which is hard to differentiate at this point...
That's it for now...
No comments:
Post a Comment